Living far away from my family taught me so many things in life. Human nature is, we would always say we know already what to do if we will be facing a new situation but the funny thing is that when this time came and when it is just in front of us we would utter “Oooops, what am I going to do now?” “Whom can I turn too?” “What advise can you give me?”
The problem is that when we are inside our comfort zone we act as if we are “life geniuses” only to find out when we took the first step to go out that we are as coward as anyone can imagine! “Coward snail!” as they call it.
Each one of is guilty of it in one way or another. I myself is a living example! I thought I can do it myself even in toughest time! I was brought up to be tough and excel in whatever things that I want to do. But life isn’t all about toughness! Not even about excellence at all times!
Being in Singapore without my dear husband with me was the biggest challenge I have to face. I told myself, this time I need to do things on my own, no husband to help me, no husband to comfort me in times of failures, no husband whom I know stands beside me and will surely listen to all my complaints in life. Everyday it will always cross my mind should I still stay here and finish my contract or just pack all my things and go back to Philippines.
The loneliness in Singapore is killing me softly everyday. Thinking that I left my two kids, sometimes I would ask myself is it really all worth it?
With work I have nothing to complain, everything is just a piece of cake! What else can make it even harder than working in Philippines #1 most admired company, Jollibee hahaha! But at the end of each very tiring day when I reach home, nothing to look forward to, no kids standing at the door waiting for their mom to come and asking "Do you have anything for me mom?" No husband to ask me "How's work mom?" After work I would just go to my bed and sleep and wait for the day to pass and hoping that time will run fast so that two years will be over.
The sound of silence is making me like a deaf.
Hours, days, months had passed. Everybody thought that I was able to move on and coped up already. What people don’t know is that behind the big smile that I wore each day hides an empty heart, longing for my family. Before it can be called a day for me, I need to shed gallons of tears again. And it is only the four corners of my room who get to witness it every night.
Singapore isn’t about bad memories for me. Don’t be misled with that, as I am just sharing to you how it was when I started my life there. Singapore brought me so much joy too that I had always been thankful for. I never felt that I am different when I came there. Singaporeans embraced me like I am one of them, I never felt that I am a “third class citizen” there. Everyday I get to feel the love that they have for me. But after a happy day of working and fantastic memories that would be written in my heart, the agony of longingness will come alive again! Haaizzz! When will this end? I don’t know too.
What is sure to me is that these few words helped me to learn how to be strong when I was away:
“Lord, help me to be out of this woods, help me to be out of this dark tunnel and escape the fear of being alone. Let me always remember Your promise that I should never be afraid for You will always be beside me and will carry me if I’ll be tired of walking. Let me see the richness of life that I’ve chosen. Help me to realize how lucky I am above the rest. Help me to be tougher each day though I am far from my loved ones. Teach me to appreciate the friends that You gave me and to continue to live each day to the fullest. Let me be thankful for I got eyes to see the beauty of Your creation, for there are blind people who can only embrace it, let me be thankful for I got ears to hear the birds singing for the deaf would love to sing with them if only they can hear, let me be thankful that I have a tongue, so I can speak the truth and utter Your promises! Let me be thankful for everything! I may not be Your worthy servant but You always work in my life!”
I am fortunate, I am blessed and I am loved!
The problem is that when we are inside our comfort zone we act as if we are “life geniuses” only to find out when we took the first step to go out that we are as coward as anyone can imagine! “Coward snail!” as they call it.
Each one of is guilty of it in one way or another. I myself is a living example! I thought I can do it myself even in toughest time! I was brought up to be tough and excel in whatever things that I want to do. But life isn’t all about toughness! Not even about excellence at all times!
Being in Singapore without my dear husband with me was the biggest challenge I have to face. I told myself, this time I need to do things on my own, no husband to help me, no husband to comfort me in times of failures, no husband whom I know stands beside me and will surely listen to all my complaints in life. Everyday it will always cross my mind should I still stay here and finish my contract or just pack all my things and go back to Philippines.
The loneliness in Singapore is killing me softly everyday. Thinking that I left my two kids, sometimes I would ask myself is it really all worth it?
With work I have nothing to complain, everything is just a piece of cake! What else can make it even harder than working in Philippines #1 most admired company, Jollibee hahaha! But at the end of each very tiring day when I reach home, nothing to look forward to, no kids standing at the door waiting for their mom to come and asking "Do you have anything for me mom?" No husband to ask me "How's work mom?" After work I would just go to my bed and sleep and wait for the day to pass and hoping that time will run fast so that two years will be over.
The sound of silence is making me like a deaf.
Hours, days, months had passed. Everybody thought that I was able to move on and coped up already. What people don’t know is that behind the big smile that I wore each day hides an empty heart, longing for my family. Before it can be called a day for me, I need to shed gallons of tears again. And it is only the four corners of my room who get to witness it every night.
Singapore isn’t about bad memories for me. Don’t be misled with that, as I am just sharing to you how it was when I started my life there. Singapore brought me so much joy too that I had always been thankful for. I never felt that I am different when I came there. Singaporeans embraced me like I am one of them, I never felt that I am a “third class citizen” there. Everyday I get to feel the love that they have for me. But after a happy day of working and fantastic memories that would be written in my heart, the agony of longingness will come alive again! Haaizzz! When will this end? I don’t know too.
What is sure to me is that these few words helped me to learn how to be strong when I was away:
“Lord, help me to be out of this woods, help me to be out of this dark tunnel and escape the fear of being alone. Let me always remember Your promise that I should never be afraid for You will always be beside me and will carry me if I’ll be tired of walking. Let me see the richness of life that I’ve chosen. Help me to realize how lucky I am above the rest. Help me to be tougher each day though I am far from my loved ones. Teach me to appreciate the friends that You gave me and to continue to live each day to the fullest. Let me be thankful for I got eyes to see the beauty of Your creation, for there are blind people who can only embrace it, let me be thankful for I got ears to hear the birds singing for the deaf would love to sing with them if only they can hear, let me be thankful that I have a tongue, so I can speak the truth and utter Your promises! Let me be thankful for everything! I may not be Your worthy servant but You always work in my life!”
I am fortunate, I am blessed and I am loved!
I didn't know that you got a blog till i saw a follower at my blog :) Cheerup regina ! :D You got your family right by your side now ! :D
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